


Fresh Air

by shinymailbox



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, Fluff, Gen, Panic Attacks, Post-Time Skip, Pre-Time Skip, all the angst stuff is chapters 2 and 3, no beta we die like men, no dancing though :((, they’re at the ball!!, this ended up way less romantic than I intended
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2020-11-22 09:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20871719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinymailbox/pseuds/shinymailbox
Summary: Lysithea would rather be anywhere but the Garreg Mach anniversary ball, and thankfully, her mysterious new house leader feels much the same way.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at 10pm at night hdjsksks Please Be Gentle, I’m baby and I’m dumb as a box of rocks

The ball at the end of the Ethereal Moon is mandatory, much to Lysithea’s chagrin. 

It comes up right in the middle of one of her breakthroughs. She’s about to master the use of an extremely powerful dark magic spell detailed in the dustiest, darkest tome from the cobweb-filled corner of the library— but all of this, of course, must be interrupted for, what, a night of wasting time? Lysithea is, at least, glad that she isn’t required to dress up in more than her uniform. The whole ordeal seems so inconsequential, already.

The night hasn’t quite begun when Lysithea finds herself in her new homeroom, preparing to depart for the main hall. She has only been with the Black Eagles for a little under two months, yet when her classmates pledge to reunite at the monastery in five years, she finds herself longing to be able to make that sort of promise. She’s fully aware that she might be severely handicapped or even dead in that sort of time frame. 

“Lysithea? Are you planning on staying here?” calls a voice just barely outside the doors to the Black Eagle homeroom, and Lysithea snaps back to the present. “I’ll be there,” she calls back, but she still mutters “eventually” under her breath.

—————

Lysithea ends up sitting out as long as she feels is allowed. The ball is already in full swing by the time she walks in. 

The ball itself is the brightest she has ever seen. The lights strain her eyes and threaten to make her lightheaded. (She hopes she isn’t the only one.)

As soon as she steps into the main hall, she’s greeted with a surprised “Hey, it’s Lysithea!” and her former house leader’s aggravatingly laid-back smile. Lysithea turns her head to see the Golden Deer off in the corner of the hall. They’re motioning for her to come over, and, well. She doesn’t have any pressing matters to attend to, does she?

“I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show up,” Claude admits as soon as the white-haired girl is close enough to him and his group that she can hear him without the need for shouting. 

She blinks at him. “The ball isn’t something I can decide not to attend,” she reminds him. 

“Oh, sure you can,” says Hilda, leaning against a wall next to Claude. She’s holding a glass of something Lysithea hopes is punch, but she isn’t too certain. “You can get out of anything at the monastery if you don’t get caught.”

Lysithea looks mildly offended at this. “What sort of person do you take me for?”

“Someone who’d rather be somewhere else?”

Lysithea decides not to respond, as Hilda is technically not incorrect. Instead, she decides to end the conversation and seek out some of her other, less irritatingly former classmates. Unfortunately for her, the first other Golden Deer in the vicinity has purple hair and a rose pinned to his uniform.

“Ah, Lysithea,” Lorenz greets. “How are you enjoying the ball?”

“It’s alright,” Lysithea lies.

“Your tone of voice belies otherwise.”

Lysithea sighs. “In all honestly, I think this ball is just a colossal waste of my time,” she admits. 

“You cannot seriously believe that,” Lorenz reacts surprisedly, his right hand over his chest. “Strengthening your social connections with other noble heirs is far from a ‘waste of time’!”

“My ‘social connections’ are far less important than my studies,” Lysithea replies, impatience coloring her words. Lorenz opens his seemingly tireless mouth again to retort, but he does not get anywhere before Lysithea turns around, effectively shutting the door on their budding argument. “Goodbye, Lorenz.”

“Spare a dance for me,” he calls to no one in particular, as Lysithea has already made an effort to tune him out. It’s a shame that Claude, Hilda and Lorenz have upset her so much; she was looking forward to exchanging hellos with Marianne and Ignatz, but now she doesn’t feel like being anywhere near her old homeroom. She takes one glance over her shoulder at the corner area where the Golden Deer are standing as she walks along the relatively empty perimeter of the hall to — really, anywhere else. Claude gives her an apologetic shrug, but it does not do much to ease her foul mood. She doubts anything but the end of this trivial, aggravating night will soothe her. 

A voice from her left startles her. Her head turns to see Edelgard walking towards her from somewhere closer to the middle of the crowd, looking tired and almost as impatient as her. Lysithea’s fist relaxes; she hadn’t even realized that she was clenching it. 

“Is everything alright?” 

Lysithea’s brows furrow, but quickly relax. Edelgard’s tone isn’t patronizing, somehow. Looking into her lavender eyes, Lysithea sees someone who seems to understand her.

“Nothing you need to be concerned with,” the younger girl responds, deciding not to lie. Edelgard shakes her head ever so slightly. 

“You’re one of the Black Eagles, Lysithea. As your house leader, I want to make sure you feel comfortable here.” 

“And why are you bringing this up, all of a sudden?” 

Edelgard looks to the side a little, as if she is embarrassed. “I— noticed you seemed tense, walking away from your former classmates.”

“This still doesn’t really concern you,” Lysithea tells the older girl, though her voice is not very bitter. 

“It may not, but I still wish to help you, if anything is troubling you.” 

Lysithea knows, now, that Edelgard is looking down on her at least a little, viewing her as the little sister that needs to be doted on. It exasperates her, yet she finds herself having a hard time telling Edelgard off. The older girl has, truthfully, fascinated Lysithea, with her unwavering resolve and long pale locks not unlike her own. Even if she is being treated as a child, it is tolerable if only for the chance to finally speak with her mysterious house leader. It’s wishful thinking, but Lysithea wonders if Edelgard knows the same horrors as she does. If she has felt the pain Lysithea has. If she is aware, too, of what awful things plague their world.

“I don’t see how you could help me, regardless,” Lysithea says, however.

Edelgard smiles faintly, though the exhaustion in her face is still evident to someone as perceptive as Lysithea. “The courtyard outside isn’t off limits,” she says. It’s not the library with her work and her books, but the courtyard does sound infinitely better than the dizzying lights of the ball. 

“I— would appreciate the fresh air,” Lysithea admits and, while she’s not very religious, she’s praying to the Goddess that she isn’t blushing. She tries to tell herself that the concern Edelgard is showing for her is patronizing, but there’s still one part of her that, for some reason, likes it. Edelgard turns to the doors, looking back at Lysithea with warm, inviting eyes. 

———

It seems that Edelgard and Lysithea are not the only people that have decided to take a break from the ball. The courtyard is nowhere near as crowded as the hall, but there are still couples walking about in the grass, some even dancing. Lysithea swears she sees that Claude and Hilda have slipped outside and are now in the darkness, way off to the side somewhere, though she quickly decides it’s none of her business.

“This feels a lot better,” Edelgard sighs. She and Lysithea decide to stop and rest along a hallway, a reasonable distance away from any sort of crowd.

“I had noticed that you didn’t seem too excited to be at the ball yourself,” Lysithea notes, nodding a little and leaning her back against the support of an arch. 

“If I am honest, coming out here was as much for me as it was for you. I... tend to get quite lightheaded in rooms like the hall.”

Light pink eyes widen. “You, too?” the smaller mage says, barely more than a whisper. It’s stupid, Lysithea knows, to assume that she and Edelgard share any traits or experiences with each other, but her mind hears Edelgard admit to feeling lightheaded occasionally and she can’t help but wonder.

Edelgard nods. “Though, in your case, I’m assuming your issues tonight were more than simple dizziness and headache.”

“There was a headache, too. His name was Lorenz Hellman Gloucester,” Lysithea mutters, and Edelgard hears this. Lysithea swears she hears a small laugh from the other girl.

“He’s very similar to someone I had to deal with tonight, if I’m not mistaken.”

“Ferdinand?”

“Of course. I believe he was trying to make me jealous of him, as always, but I can’t ever tell what he’s trying to make me jealous about,” Edelgard says with more than a hint of exasperation. She walks a little closer to the support Lysithea is leaning against, and she herself decides to do the same, so she is now side to side with the younger girl. Her head leans back against the arch. “Hubert was staring daggers at him, all night.”

At the mention of Edelgard’s retainer, Lysithea goes a little cold. “Does Hubert know you’re outside with me?”

Edelgard turns her head to look at Lysithea. “Of course. I told him where I’d be.”

The anxiety building in Lysithea’s body disappears. “Oh. That’s good, then.” 

There is a silence, not too long, but definitely long enough to be considered awkward, before Edelgard speaks again.

“Are you enjoying your time with the Black Eagles?”

Lysithea looks to the side, not at Edelgard, and stares into space. “I, at least, wouldn’t wish to go back to the Golden Deer.”

Edelgard smiles, as if she wasn’t expecting the kind answer. She’s looking into the same void that Lysithea is. “Is there a reason why?”

“There’s something about your class that makes me feel as if we’re all dreaming towards the same goal.”

Edelgard has an idea what this goal is.

“I knew saw it in you, too,” she says, simply.

“You saw what?” Lysithea asks.

“The desire to change the world.”

The incredible ache in Lysithea’s heart is unable to be ignored. She wants to tell Edelgard everything; the experiments, her lack of a future, the dreams she’ll never see come true. And yet, Lysithea only hums in response. 

She turns her head to see Edelgard, still gazing at the night sky from above the crown of Lysithea’s head. Her eyes sparkle with ambition when they move down to look at the younger mage, instead. Lysithea actually begins to feel a smile gracing her features. 

“We could change it together,” Lysithea adds.

(Even if there is no “together” in a few years, Lysithea is still filled with a sense of hope— one she hasn’t felt in forever. She’s filled with hope that even if she does not live to see it, Lysithea knows that Edelgard will build the future she dreams of.)

“In that case, I’m glad to have you by my side, Lysithea.”

(She’s definitely blushing now.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five years later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first chapter was pre-timeskip. This one is post-timeskip.  
And just like Three Houses itself, the second chapter of this fic is much more depressing than the first. This is just angst. (And even more gen than the first chapter. What can I say? I love writing gen.)
> 
> For this reason, I gotta lay down some warnings for **major character death** and canon-typical violence, as well as a brief panic attack scene. Sorry, guys.

Five years pass and Lysithea is still _alive;_ though recently, she can’t tell if the exhaustion she’s been feeling recently is from her body beginning to degenerate, or from the heaviness of the war that’s been raging on for the past half-decade.

Her left hand feels slightly numb every now and again, and her balance has gotten a lot worse, but she is alive, and that’s more than what she’d expected, honestly. She is glad that life has clung to her for this long, and she secretly prays that her luck will continue just a little bit longer.

She wants to see the world she and Edelgard and her former classmates are fighting to create. A world without the burden and pain caused by an obsession with Crests, as Edelgard had told her once over tea.

(Lysithea doesn’t even remember drinking tea at all during that meeting; their conversation had quickly turned serious and she’d been so excited to learn more about the mysterious woman with features that almost mirrored her own that she’d completely forgotten her beverage.)

She does not trust Edelgard any less for starting the war. In fact, she idolizes the other woman’s courage. In Lysithea’s eyes, this amount of force and bloodshed doesn’t even begin to push “too much” in order to justify a world where the Crest system is abolished. A world where little girls like her and Edelgard are little girls with living siblings and hearts that don’t beat too fast and heads that don’t spin under any sort of lighting.

And so, she stays by the Emperor’s side.

—————

When Professor Byleth returns from the dead, the war’s standstill comes to an end. Lysithea still feels tired, often, but the Professor awakens something in her, in all of the Imperial soldiers. Lysithea is reminded by the Professor’s vigor and enthusiasm for the war effort that she is fighting this war for a reason. It is for that very reason that she accompanies Edelgard and the Professor onto the battlefield for the first time in nearly a year.

They are going to invade the Alliance.

Myrrdin is a strategic location that is crucial to the Imperial Army’s efforts. Capturing it is the first step to a better world, Lysithea reminds herself._This is for a better world. This is for a better world. We’ll change the world, together. _

Edelgard is calm and authoritative when she orders the army to attack, just as she has always been. She is collected when she cuts down Alliance soldiers with her axe. She does not waver when Leonie Pinelli rides onto the battlefield, serious and prepared to defend her homeland or _die trying._

She’s on the other side of the bridge, but she still hears when Professor Byleth engages her orange-haired former classmate. Leonie mutters something about betrayal, and the Professor merely waits and listens before extending the Sword of the Creator. There is a scream of agony and Lysithea tries to tune out the sound of Leonie’s body hitting stone floor. She’s breathing heavily and she hasn’t even engaged more than one soldier.

A deep breath, and Lysithea slings another ball of magic at an armored foe charging at her. The battle does not end with Leonie.

————

Leonie, Judith, Ignatz. She wonders who is next.

————

“How are you feeling?” Edelgard asks her in the dining hall over sweet buns, a week after they’ve captured Myrddin.

“I am alright.” Lysithea nods, swallowing down a piece of her meal. “I don’t see why you feel the need to check on me.”

“We’re fighting your former classmates. You once were a Golden Deer, weren’t you?”

“I was,” Lysithea confirms, “though now I wouldn’t see myself as anything but a Black Eagle.”

The corners of Edelgard’s mouth turn up. “I’m... glad to hear that, honestly. However... I want you to know that on our next mission— into Derdriu — you don’t have to accompany us. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“There’s no need to treat me like I’m incapable. I’m aware of what we may do in Derdriu, and I’ve accepted it. I _want_ to fight alongside you, Edelgard. Not out of an obligation, but out of personal choice.”

“I see.” Edelgard pauses. “Thank you.”

————

Hilda’s eyes are filled with rage and determination that Lysithea has never seen from the woman before. Edelgard’s axe manages to force Claude to surrender moments before Hilda reaches the Imperial army with her terrifying relic, and Lysithea is glad. Both Hilda and Claude are spared, in the end.

After surrendering, after giving up the Alliance, Claude makes a beeline for the pink-haired woman a few meters away. She pulls him into a tight hug, burrowing her face into his neck, and Lysithea watches with relief as Claude returns her embrace. They’re both alive. Lysithea knows just how incredible that feeling can be.

“We’ve successfully captured Derdriu,” Edelgard pants, holding up Aymr to the sky. Her chest heaves and she looks drenched in sweat from fighting for her life, and that just makes it more inspiring to Lysithea. “This is our next step to a Fódlan free of the oppression of Crests and the Church!”

Lysithea cheers with the rest of the Black Eagle Strike Force, and she is startled when she feels a tap on her shoulder. She swivels around, feeling dark magic begin to crackle in her palms, but the energy dissipates when she sees Claude standing behind her.

“Congratulations,” he says. Lysithea can only blink.

“Why would you come up to _me?_ I left your house years ago,” she reminds him.

Claude lets out a small laugh. “You’re still a friend, right? I wanted to say goodbye to you.”

Lysithea is, once again, completely and utterly bewildered. “Goodbye? You’re making very little sense right now, Claude.”

“I’m leaving Fódlan.”

“Oh,” Lysithea says. “Goodbye, then.”

Claude pats her on the shoulder and she shoots him a death glare, out of reflex. “I’m counting on you to make a better Fódlan, while I’m gone,” he tells her, thankfully stopping short of ruffling her hair. She jerks away from his hand on her shoulder, but she seems less upset with him, somehow.

“I will, Claude. I promised.”

————

When the Church Of Seiros arrives at the monastery with the intent of reclaiming it, Lysithea is the one to fell Flayn. It is quick, death by black magic, though Lysithea doubts it is painless. Lysithea has killed many soldiers, heard many screams of death, and yet Flayn’s rings in her ears over and over like nobody else’s ever has. This is the first former friend she has killed with her own hands.

And then Seteth’s screams— she’s filled with a sense of dread. Dread, and she’s sinking in guilt that threatens to fill her lungs and choke her. She sees white.

“Lysithea!” Petra calls, swooping down next to her on her wyvern, landing a final blow on the approaching soldier she’d already gravely injured with a throwing axe. She can’t help but gasp when she sees Flayn, whose body is now being picked up and carried by an already retreating Pegasus knight. “Lysithea, that soldier was coming for you,” Petra tells her. “In battle, you are needing to pay attention.”

Lysithea doesn’t answer, doesn’t look up at all. Her chest heaves too quickly to give her room to actually breathe. She thinks she might be dying.  
“Petra,” she gasps, “I might vomit.”

Petra’s face lights up with alarm. “I shall be carrying you off of the field of battle! You cannot be fighting with this state.”

“No— don’t, I—“ Lysithea stammers, her breath still unsteady. “I can’t run away, I don’t have time to run away—I can’t afford to have us lose, I—“

She’s interrupted by Petra’s arms around her waist, hoisting her up onto her wyvern. “It is a good thing that you are being light,” she muses to herself. “Edelgard would be very sad if you were hurting.”

Petra climbs onto the wyvern behind her and motions for the dragon to carry them both back to the monastery infirmary. Lysithea closes her eyes and doesn’t remember much after that.

————

“You’re awake,” Linhardt states matter-of-factly when the white-haired mage opens her eyes in the infirmary bed. “Oh, don’t worry. You’ve only been out for five hours at the most. We won.”

Lysithea’s head pounds, but she sits up in the bed anyway. She’s used to headaches. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help you.”

“You helped significantly, as you normally do,” Linhardt assures her.

“If I hadn’t been there and I was needed... I can’t afford to make this kind of mistake again.”

“You fainted, Lysithea,” says a voice from the doorway. It’s Edelgard, carrying a tray from the dining hall. “We need you safe, not working yourself to death. You’re important to this army.” She pauses, before adding, “you’re important to us.”

“Edelgard...”

“Don’t apologize again, please. I brought you sweet buns, if you’d care for one.”

“Always,” Lysithea says, and she feels may even be smiling. She takes a the bun from the tray and takes a bite, savoring the sweet flavor she adores so much. Edelgard grabs one for herself, sitting down on the edge of the bed and placing the tray on her lap.

Linhardt sighs. “Just, don’t leave any crumbs, please. I don’t feel like sweeping today. Or ever.” He pauses wherever he’s walking to backtrack and walk towards Edelgard, but Lysithea quickly swipes his hand away before he can steal the last sweet bun.

—————

She is quickly discharged from the infirmary, less than a day after the fight’s conclusion. She straightens her room, washes her clothing, studies Crest removal for hours on end, and yet she can’t seem to forget Flayn. She wonders if she was given a proper burial. She wonders if Flayn had been afraid when her Luna spell connected. Hours pass, and Lysithea finds herself absolutely sleepless.

Insomnia and nightmares have plagued her for as long as her Crests have, but tonight is especially painful. Her old dorm is suffocating, the decor an ever-present reminder of the friends she’s opposing in her quest to realize her dream. And so she leaves.

The creaking of the door isn’t enough to wake the others, she hopes, and she takes very light steps in the dorm hallway. As she reaches the end of the hall, it becomes increasingly clear.

She isn’t the only one losing sleep tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof cliffhanger. anyway there will be a third part to this! idk when I’m going to finish it but it’ll cover the next part of crimson flower. the main reason I’m splitting this is so the quality doesn’t become rushed with me trying to finish 1 longer chapter instead of two decently sized ones

**Author's Note:**

> FE rarepair week is going on, right? Right? 
> 
> Anyway, these two are the cutest and I just had to write SOMETHING featuring them. It’s been nagging me for weeks.


End file.
